


Wrapped Up in Your Kind of Love

by Aikasa_chan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Neurodivergent Illumi, Patient Hisoka, Soft murder boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aikasa_chan/pseuds/Aikasa_chan
Summary: He did as Hisoka had suggested and thought about how he used to spend his free time in the solitude of his room or a freshly dug hole in some obscure spot on the Zoldyck property. When had he decided to voluntarily pursue the company of another person, and of all people, why was that person Hisoka?“I... I’m not sure.”Even after years of knowing each other, Illumi still didn’t know what to make of his association with Hisoka.
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 14
Kudos: 270





	Wrapped Up in Your Kind of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mikashisui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikashisui/gifts).



> I’m late because I wasn’t expecting it to take so long, but happy birthday Mikashi!! I hope you enjoy this little hisoillu story! ❤️

“Illumi, what exactly is this?”

Hisoka was seated near the head of his massive bed with his legs crossed. He was hunched over with his left elbow burrowed into the muscle above his knee and his chin rested in the dip of his palm. Not even a foot away from him, a man with long sprawling black hair lay flat on his back staring up at the ceiling. His head was resting a couple inches away from Hisoka’s left knee, but despite his close proximity he didn’t respond. Hisoka watched the tiny fragments of movement on his face: the slight tension pulling against the corner of his lips and the quick way his dark lashes shifted as his eyes seemed to examine the blank surface.

“Baby?”

Illumi’s matte, obsidian eyes shifted to fix his gaze on Hisoka. Only a few seconds had passed since Hisoka’s initial inquiry but it was strange that he had only chosen to acknowledge him after hearing the nickname Hisoka had been insistent on calling him. 

“I can’t say that I know what you are referring to.”

If he had been sitting up Hisoka was sure that Illumi’s head would have cocked over to one side in his confusion. He smirked to himself as he held the other man’s gaze.

“What are we doing here, Illu?” Hisoka’s grin widened at the sight of one of Illumi’s brows twitching upward. 

“Hisoka, I think it’s fairly obvious that we are just sitting here.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

Hisoka allowed his arm to slide down so his face could be closer to Illumi’s. Part of him was surprised that Illumi hadn’t flinched away from the forwardness of the gesture but he wasn’t going to give voice to his thoughts on it. He watched Illumi partially tilt his head back in his direction, the same relatively neutral expression etched into his features. 

“Then I am unsure of how to answer.”

A light hum bubbled up in Hisoka's chest while he smiled softly down at Illumi.

“Ah, of course not. I guess I should’ve figured my question was too vague.” He laughed lightly and rolled his eyes before bringing his gold back to Illumi’s darkness. “What are these interactions we’ve been having lately? Surely you’ve noticed? Think back to when we first met and compare the time we spent together then to now.”

Illumi blinked once as he absorbed Hisoka’s questions. The new inquiries filtered in one by one, the first and last taking priority in the order received. His mind tried to figure out a way to compartmentalize the two but the longer he thought about it they were intrinsically linked. 

He did as Hisoka had suggested and thought about how he used to spend his free time in the solitude of his room or a freshly dug hole in some obscure spot on the Zoldyck property. When had he decided to voluntarily pursue the company of another person, and of all people, why was that person Hisoka?

“I... I’m not sure.” The space between his brows crinkled a moment before his mouth pulled into a frown. “I suppose I have been invading your personal space more frequently now than I did in the past. If it displeases you I can stop.”

Hisoka turned his head to press his lips to his palm. The muffled sounds of a laugh leaked out as his eyes squinted, pale moonlight glinting bright in his playful golden irises. Illumi’s face relaxed as he let his eyes roam over Hisoka's.

“What is so amusing?” Illumi’s voice was even yet carried with it a distinct undercurrent of anxiety.

“It’s just, you’re so serious. Mmmh, but Illu, that was definitely not the goal of this discussion.” Hisoka cleared his throat to settle the remnants of his outburst. “I merely wanted to get you thinking. I can promise you that your presence is always welcome.”

Illumi released a short breath as he acknowledged Hisoka’s words but his mind focused in on the fact that Hisoka had yet to reveal his true intentions.

“How about a different question then? How do you feel about me?”

The dim room was mostly silent, the only noises Illumi could detect were the soft sounds of he and Hisoka breathing. He turned his head back to a more natural position and allowed himself to wander the white expanse of paint above him.

Despite popular belief, Illumi did possess the capacity to feel things other than bloodlust, but he was drawing a blank when faced with the image of the man beside him. He considered, instead, his feelings about things he was certain of. 

He knew for a fact that he loved his family. They were the sole reason for his existence. Without hesitation he would lay down his life for them if they willed it of him. He’d viciously destroy anything or anyone that threatened their existence. He also knew that he hated Gon Freecs. The boy his younger brother was so inclined to abandon their family for was a threat to the one thing he loved. He had chosen not to end his life as a gesture of good will towards Hisoka, upon his request, but even now his needles ached to find purchase between the boy’s brows.

For most of the remainder of humanity to consider, Illumi didn’t really care. If they stayed out of his way and they weren’t his target there were no issues. Illumi definitely preferred it that way. Clients held a slightly higher rank in terms of his apathetic indifference, but it wasn’t some lofty pedestal to be proud of; As soon as the job was done and money exchanged hands they, too, were relegated to the slums of his forgotten afterthoughts.

Illumi’s eyes shifted slightly until the vague outline of Hisoka’s body filled his peripheral. Even with all of his feelings gathered to the forefront of his mind Illumi still could not place Hisoka among either category. He could not possibly love him; that feeling was absolutely reserved for family only. He didn’t hate him either, a phrase he never thought he’d ever say after all the years he had spent mildly irritated by the minor annoyances the man had put him through. All that was left was indifference, but Illumi wasn’t foolish enough to truly consider it a viable option.

Hisoka waited patiently as he loomed nearby, his eyes devouring every movement Illumi’s face made. It took him considerably longer to answer than the former questions but Hisoka wasn’t surprised. In truth, he hadn’t expected an answer at all, but he was optimistic as he observed the telltale signs of Illumi’s genuine deliberation.

“I have yet to figure that out.”

His large eyes blinked twice before he turned his head back to regard Hisoka in open curiosity. Hisoka chuckled. He knew that his dear friend was trying to make sense of the emotions he couldn’t understand but he also knew that Illumi wouldn’t find the answer spelled out on his face.

“Is that so? Then allow me to offer some of my own feelings? Maybe that will help you in figuring out your own.”

Illumi hummed his quiet allowance and Hisoka shuddered a sigh at the ease at which he had agreed to listen. His tongue slipped out to unnecessarily moisten his lips. The artificially sweet petroleum in the thin layer of his cheap chapstick made his tongue feel dry and heavy. Now that he had offered to put his cards on the table there was no going back, not unless he wanted to arouse Illumi’s sleeping distrust.

“I think you are beautiful, intelligent, lethal, sweet. You’re many other things but we could be here all night if I continued.” Hisoka's eyelids lowered and the muscles around his eyes resisted his desire to look away. The heat of his embarrassment surged before overflowing into every empty space in his body. “I know you don’t want or care about friendships, but I’ve found that I do, and you’re my favorite one whether you like it or not.”

An almost silent, sad moan escaped his lips. He had considered keeping the final bit of his confession to himself but the dam broke under the pressure of Illumi’s intense gaze and his need to fulfill the offer he himself made.

“If I’m one hundred percent honest, sometimes I get carried away and like to imagine we’re secretly in a relationship that neither of us fully acknowledges.”

Hisoka’s face was flooded with color and he knew Illumi could see it clearly in the low light. The dark haired man wore an almost puzzled look as he diligently listened to Hisoka’s words. A faint trace of heat stirred in his chest and head as he catalogued every statement, careful not to rearrange any letters to avoid confusion during his final evaluation. 

“Hisoka. I am none of those things. Well, I am one, but the others,” Illumi had averted his hooded gaze, his body boldly painting a light pink glow along the fullness of his cheeks, “I think you are mistaken?”

“I’m most certainly not. You are everything I said, to me at least.”

The muscles in Hisokas shoulders trembled, the subtle jerk a combined result of his fried nerves and nervous laughter at Illumi’s disbelief. 

In an instant, Illumi had his gaze back on Hisoka. He wasn’t sure why, but the heat that had manifested in his body wouldn’t go away. Looking directly at Hisoka didn’t help. In fact, the strange warmth seemed to only further take root as he scanned his eyes over his bent over posture and back up to his red face.

Illumi swallowed around nothing when he thought about the latter half of Hisokas statement. It was true; friendships were dangerous for an assassin. They were a major liability that could affect his performance should an adversary get their hands on that information and choose to exploit it. That’s why he avoided gratuitous attachments, which had seemed easy enough at some point, but now he was sure he had screwed up somewhere along the way. The conversation and unfamiliar sensations he was currently engaged with were proof of that.

The interlaced fingers over his chest trembled and became wet with perspiration when he contemplated the implication of his final admission. Illumi observed the scene, a section of his mind continuously replaying the discomfort and uncharatistic timidness of his associate in that moment. The way his lips moved around his words matched the sounds but he couldn’t help but think that maybe Hisoka was more delusional than he had originally anticipated for even forming the thought.

“Does this mean that you like me?” Hisoka's eyes widened when Illumi released his next question out into the open. Before Hisoka could respond Illumi continued to think out loud. “I have never experienced that sort of feeling, so if this is what that is I wouldn’t know. After thinking it over, I’ve concluded that I do not hate you, and you are not family, so I do not love you either. Is liking you an appropriate in between?” 

Hisoka sat up to straighten his back and placed a hand on either knee. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest when he looked back down at the blushing, confusion riddled man staring back at him.

“I-I can’t speak for you, but,” Hisoka's left hand moved from his knee to comb his fingers through his loose curls and waves, a sheepish smile highlighting his heavily flushed features, “I do like you, more than I should, likely more than you probably care for, but I won’t deny it.”

Hisoka's lips trembled, the words he wanted to say were trapped at the base of his throat, but Illumi’s gaze, like warmed forceps, reached in and pulled the stubborn thought from him.

“Hmmm, I may even love you, but I can’t say for sure. I’ve only loved one person, but I put her in the ground with my own two hands, so what do I really know?” 

He had mentioned his mother to Illumi in passing but didn’t expect him to draw the connection between her and the she he presented now. It didn’t matter in the end who he was talking about because it was in the past and his mother was only a distant memory.

Illumi proceeded to stare at him while he stored away every word in its appropriate place and sifted through the files of his conversations with Hisoka. It was strange that Hisoka could so easily think that he loved him. Yes, he and Hisoka had a similar give and take relationship like he did with his family, but this was different. His feelings for Hisoka were nothing like how he regarded his family. 

Humming to himself, Illumi untangled his hands and rolled onto his side so his front was facing Hisoka. His left leg crossed over his right and his arms were drawn up to loosely rest near his chest. He still kept his eyes on Hisoka but his new position allowed his neck to relax. He blinked slowly, the soft blush and uncertainty from before still evident on his face, but he looked resolute in whatever he had decided.

“I will allow it.”

“Huh?”

Hisoka raised a penciled in brow at the sudden yet seemingly out of place declaration. 

“I permit you to call our association a relationship. That is what you desired from the beginning, isn’t it?”

The room seemed to spin as Hisoka watched Illumi’s blush spread further across his face to his left ear, the tip of the flushed skin partly peeking out from between his parted ebony hair. He shook his head and cleared his throat before addressing what he thought was a misunderstanding.

“Illu, look, I really want to be excited right now but I know you, and I don’t know if you know what you’re saying. Are you sure that this is something you want?”

Hisoka's blush had receded considerably as he fought to reign in his feelings and moved to protect his vulnerability before it was crushed by the man he had handed considerable power to. 

“You like and wish to romantically attach yourself to me, or am I wrong in assuming so? I am also willing to give the relationship you’ve fantasized about a try, if I am correct, because I too want to understand these feelings.”

The pink of Illumi’s pale skin burned red hot in the wake of his own words. His eyes were still narrowed as he stared up at Hisoka through his dark lashes. Sweat coated fingers curled into his palms as his arms retracted, bringing his tight fists closer to himself.

The plane of Hisoka’s tongue was dry and brushed roughly against his palate by the end of Illumi’s statement. His blush had resumed in full force and his jaw grew slack as he exhaled the breath he knew he had been holding in. He straightened out his legs from their formerly crossed position before slowly moving his body further down the bed. Cautiously, he lowered onto his left side to be parallel with Illumi. 

Illumi didn’t react negatively. Only his large obsidian eyes showed any sign of movement as he followed Hisoka’s changing posture. 

“Illu, baby, can I touch you?”

Hisoka's right palm lay flat and shook on the sheets below them. Illumi shifted his head in a small nod after thinking about it for a minute. He angled his face down into the bed until half of his warm face was hidden in the sheets. Only one dark eye blinked at him in a slow, alluring way as his teeth found purchase in his lower lip. Hisoka shuddered when he heard Illumi inhale softly and watched him relax into the familiar, natural scent that was purely Hisoka’s. 

Illumi’s exposed eye carefully alternated between watching Hisoka’s approaching hand and his eyes as he tried to determine where they’d make contact. 

The warm, damp hand finally came to land against the side of Illumi’s face. His palm hovered over him while his thumb rubbed back and forth across his soft skin. Hisoka’s index finger rested behind the hollow of Illumi’s ear while his remaining fingers pressed along the vulnerable flesh that transitioned into his neck. Illumi’s eye scanned searchingly over Hisoka’s face before finding whatever it was he was looking for. He inhaled and huffed out a sigh as he allowed it to close. 

Hisoka trembled and made a soft sound as he reveled in the trust that Illumi was showing him. He could feel Illumi’s wild pulse rushing beneath his fingertips and he wondered if Illumi could feel his too; or could he hear the loud pounding of his heart trying to escape his chest?

“Illu, I want to try something.” Illumi’s eye half opened to stare lazily at Hisoka. Hisoka swallowed and licked his lips before pressing on. “If you don’t like it just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”

Illumi hummed and the gentle vibration sent a shock through Hisoka’s fingers. Slowly, Hisoka moved his hands to fully cup the side of Illumi’s face. It felt like his body was made of lead as moved to close the distance between them. His knees bumped gently against Illumi’s left leg and both men jumped at the sudden contact. 

After they took a moment to calm down, Hisoka leaned in and pressed his lips to Illumi’s forehead. He shivered when he felt Illumi’s sigh ghost against his neck. His lips lingered there a moment before he pulled away to watch Illumi reveal a bit more of his face. A few of Illumi’s stray hairs clung to Hisoka’s lips before falling back into his face. Illumi’s brow furrowed and Hisoka couldn’t resist the temptation to kiss the tension away. 

When he worked his way back down to be level with him again, Hisoka pressed his forehead to Illumi’s. In response, Illumi turned his head to fully face him. They stared at each other for what felt like eternity before Illumi brushed his forehead against Hisoka’s.

“Are you going to kiss me or not?”

Hisoka’s eyes widened in shock a moment before narrowing with his shy chuckle. Illumi’s lashes fluttered before coming to a stop at the halfway point. His large eyes shone like freshly polished gems.

Without giving a response, Hisoka tilted his head and brought his lips flush to Illumi’s. His moisturized lips rested chastely against the dry, soft lips of the man he desired. A soft moan lingered between them, neither man sure who it came from or if they had both produced the small sound. 

Their eyes stayed on each other as Hisoka applied a bit more pressure. His lips parted slightly to gently take Illumi’s upper lip between them. The dark haired man’s eyes squeezed shut and a whine slipped past his closed lips. Hisoka pulled back, his body wrought with tension as he tried to determine whether he should keep going or not.

Illumi didn’t give him much of a chance to consider it before he leaned into Hisokas space and joined them together once more. Hisoka barely moved as he let him feel out the unfamiliar territory. Illumi’s timid lips rubbed softly against Hisoka and he patiently followed Illumi’s lead. 

After several minutes of agonizingly slow movement, Hisoka could feel Illumi’s breathing picking up. Hisoka groaned when Illumi attempted to imitate him. His plush, quivering lips surrounded Hisoka’s lower lip and pinched them between his own. Hisoka couldn’t contain the breathy moan that escaped him nor stop himself from pressing further into Illumi’s warmth. His tongue pressed desperately against the roof of his mouth; he wouldn’t allow himself that pleasure. It was too soon and he didn’t want to potentially scare Illumi with his overzealous enthusiasm.

Hisoka was again the first to draw away. He huffed softly as he watched Illumi try to catch his breath. His soft pink lips were wet and parted around his heavy breaths. 

“You’re new to all this, aren’t you? Let’s stop here for now, okay?” Hisoka’s voice was rough and heavy with the desire to do the exact opposite of what he was suggesting. Illumi nodded and rubbed his face into Hisoka’s sweaty palm. His eyes fully opened as Hisoka’s thumb resumed stroking his face. 

“Okay.”

It was only one word, but the hoarse voice that came out barely resembled the one of balanced control he usually had. Illumi closed his eyes and his cheeks burned bright when he recognized the sound came from him. A playful laugh rang from Hisoka, his eyes squinting closed with the force of it before his gold settled back onto Illumi’s embarrassed face.

“God, I really can’t believe you don’t think you’re beautiful, Illu,” Hisoka’s soft smile was met with Illumi’s frown and scrunched features, “You really are too cute. I wish you could see yourself right now.”

Illumi averted his gaze before he willed himself to relax, no longer content to allow his self consciousness to maintain its grasp on him. He cleared his throat and looked back at Hisoka’s face.

“You’re cute too, you know?”

The sound of his voice was low, almost private, but Hisoka picked up every word. His smile sharpened and a chuckle rumbled low in his chest. 

“Thank you, baby. You really are so sweet. I don’t think you know how happy that makes me.”

The corner of Illumi’s mouth twitched up, a ghost of a smile, before setting into his neutral. With his eyes glued to Hisoka’s, Illumi slowly moved to sit up and Hisoka was quick to follow. He moved his head from side to side to stretch his neck and shake out his hair. 

“I really must go. It’s already late.”

Hisoka glanced out of the window at the city lights setting the darkness aglow before looking back to Illumi.

“Or you could just stay here?”

“Oh? And why should I do that?”

Hisoka smirked and rolled his eyes, a soft snort exhaling through his nostrils as he scooted closer to Illumi.

“What kinda question is that? Do I really need a reason to want my new boyfriend to spend the night? It’s not like you can easily catch a flight home at this hour and it would be terribly boring to go to your empty hotel room.”

Illumi squinted softly at Hisoka and tilted his head to the side before focusing his gaze down to carefully study his sheets.

“I suppose you have a point. However,” Illumi’s long fingers dragged over the thin polyester covering the mattress, “I’m unsure that your bed meets the requirements for me to rest sufficiently.”

“Baby, you sleep underground. How could my bed possibly pale in comparison?”

Illumi blinked up at Hisoka and shook his head.

“It’s not your mattress. You lack sufficient cover for my needs.”

Hisoka’s brows lifted and his mouth formed an “o” before he beamed brightly at him.

“Don’t worry about that. I have plenty of extra blankets in my closet. How about this?” Hisoka gently reached to touch Illumi’s face, “While you go get freshened up I’ll get my bed all nice and cozy for my sweet prince?”

Illumi blushed at the new nickname but nodded in agreement with his plan. 

“Good. Feel free to use anything in the bathroom. The linen closet is to the right. Oh and if you want you can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in.”

The excited look in his eye faded when Illumi shook his head.

“I appreciate it but no thank you,” his warm hand moved up to touch Hisoka’s face, “I will excuse myself to the restroom though, if you don’t mind.”

Hisoka jumped at the unexpectedly soft touch but immediately relaxed into it. 

“Of course, baby.”

Hisoka sighed when he realized they had to remove their hands from each other’s faces to get anything done. Illumi’s fell away first and Hisoka’s followed suit. His dark eyes lingered on him for a breath before he crawled to the edge of the bed and silently made his way across the open space toward the linen closet. When he finally disappeared beyond the bathroom doors Hisoka fell back onto his bed with his arms spread wide and quietly swooned.

He had never anticipated that he would ever be in this situation with Illumi but somehow his wildest imaginings were materializing. Hisoka rolled around on the bed before he settled on the spot Illumi had been lying on for the majority of his visit. His nose pressed into the sheets and he breathed in the subtle traces of an earthy, salty scent. 

If he was honest, he hadn’t expected anything, as Illumi naturally didn’t carry a scent, but given the circumstances it wasn’t really a surprise. Illumi had come over by blimp fresh off an assignment where he had likely spent most of his nights burrowed deep in the earth when he wasn’t actively stalking his victim. He closed his eyes and visualized him expertly digging a hole by hand and climbing inside. 

Hisoka chuckled and sat up before getting out of bed to open his walk-in closet. Once inside he stripped and changed into a pair of soft pajama pants. He tossed his outfit into a hamper and turned to the shelf in the back. It was lined with comforters and blankets he had collected through his years of hotel hopping and shoplifting. Instead of grabbing one or two he stuffed his arms full of all he could manage to carry and laughed to himself at the potential face Illumi would make at his interpretation of his request for more cover.

When he returned from the closet he dumped and spread them out on top of each other in the center of the bed. He placed his hands on his hips and smirked proudly at the pile but just as he was about to look to see if he had any extra blankets to add to it Illumi emerged from the restroom. He slowly made his way over towards Hisoka but paused when his eyes were drawn to the bed. 

“Ah, good. That’s perfect. Thank you, Hisoka.”

Illumi approached the edge of the bed and climbed up to the pillows lining the head. He shuffled under the corner of the blanket pile and settled his back against the pile of pillows behind him.

Hisoka shook his head and stifled a laugh. He hadn’t expected a thank you but when he observed the sleepy look of contentment in his eyes Hisoka abandoned all thought of pressing the issue. 

“Are you coming?”

“Yes, baby.”

Hisoka lifted up a corner of the ridiculous pile before climbing into bed. When he was fully covered he scooted closer to Illumi but stopped just before their bodies could touch. 

As Hisoka had expected, being under so many blankets was mildly uncomfortable but he didn’t want to waste an opportunity to fully share his bed with him. 

“Are you comfortable?”

“Mmmh. Are you?”

“It’s a bit warm for my taste, but I’m okay.”

Illumi had his head turned to face Hisoka. He shimmed down under the covers but didn’t close his eyes. Hisoka’s instincts were telling him that those dark eyes were asking for something. Instead of inquiring, Hisoka simply moved in to peck Illumi’s lips once before pulling back to try to get comfortable.

The satisfied sound Illumi made before closing his eyes set Hisoka’s heart on fire. He squirmed lightly and sank low under the covers. Hisoka took deep breaths to calm his nerves as he watched the tranquil face of his partner. It wasn’t long before all the excitement of the evening came crashing down on him. The weight of it pulled heavily at his eyes and his vision began to go in and out. Before completely succumbing to his weariness, he whispered a quiet good night.

Under normal circumstances, Hisoka wouldn’t be up this early but he wasn’t used to sleeping next to another body. He had enjoyed the company of others in his bed without issue but he never allowed them to stay. 

Illumi was a different story. Illumi was special.

Hisoka lay atop the mound of comforters and blankets as he watched Illumi’s sleeping form. When he had woken up, he discovered that he was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and half of his body had moved towards the side of the bed and out from under the smothering death trap. He had quickly slid from underneath the offensive pile but didn’t leave the bed. Even though Illumi had decided to spend the night with him, Hisoka knew his time with him was limited. Illumi wouldn’t skip out on work to stay with him so he had to make do with what he could get. He didn’t want to waste a single minute away from his presence until he absolutely had to.

Carefully reaching forward, Hisoka moved the curtain of hair blocking Illumi’s face behind his ear. He stared in awe at the half lidded, blank stare on his partner's face. Even from his distance he could clearly make out the beads of perspiration that were gathered along his brow. Hisoka had planned to get a closer look at his peaceful face but the sudden spike of bloodlust and vague clarity in Illumi’s eyes put his thoughts on the back burner. 

He didn’t have much time to react to Illumi’s lithe form darting forward from under the covers to straddle him and lodge a needle deep into the muscle, tendons and ligaments of his shoulder. Any sane person would be afraid for their life but Hisoka couldn’t suppress the manic smile from creeping across his face in his excitement. 

It had all happened within a second’s time, but in the next Illumi blinked and Hisoka could see lucid thoughts returning to him.

“Oh my. Good morning to you too, Illu.”

“Ah, Hisoka.”

Illumi squinted down at him as he gathered his bearings. When he registered what had happened he frowned yet didn’t move immediately.

“Good morning.”

He ran a finger over the rounded off head of his needle before slowly removing it. His tongue slid up the side of it to clear any of Hisoka’s blood from it before carefully storing it away in his hair. With his full attention back on Hisoka, he tilted his head and gave him a sympathetic look.

“I apologize about that. I’m not used to anyone being that close, especially not while I’m asleep.”

Hisoka laughed heartily with his head thrown back into the pillows. The pain and bleeding in his shoulder that he expected never came as he stretched his arms above his head before settling them at his sides. For a moment he had been tempted to grab Illumi by the waist to test the undefined limits he knew existed but he figured that was an experiment for a different time.

“It was my fault really. I should have figured something like that would happen. But don’t worry. I’m not mad. Quite the opposite really. I didn’t think you’d be this much fun so early in the morning.”

Illumi hummed as he processed Hisoka’s words. He shifted slightly on his abdomen and blushed when he realized he still hadn’t moved. His first thought was to quickly get off of him but another, more power urge overtook him. 

Both of Illumi’s hands came to rest on either side of his new partner’s face before he hunched over to press his lips to Hisoka’s. Their noses gently squished together with their faces parallel to each other but neither of them moved or complained. He watched Hisoka close his eyes and felt his skin tingle at the short moan that vibrated against his lips.

When Illumi pulled back Hisoka’s eyes cracked open and he smiled, the gesture small and sweet. He brushed his palms against Illumi’s calves and watched the man above him shake softly from the tender touch. The ebony silk cascading from Illumi’s head flanked his face and highlighted his pale skin and blush. 

“I could get used to my mornings being like this,” Hisoka’s left hand came up to brush the back of his fingers across Illumi’s forehead to catch the sweat that had yet to dry, “However I’m not too sure about the multitude of blankets. I don’t see the appeal of all the sweating involved.”

“I don’t like it either,” Illumi pressed his hot forehead against Hisoka’s cool fingers as he continued to stare down at him, “But there is something about the rest of it that comforts me?”

Illumi shook his head and suddenly climbed off of Hisoka to sit on the side of the bed. Hisoka sat up and joined him, both of his hands resting on his thighs as he waited out Illumi’s silence.

“I apologize for the inconvenience. We don’t have to do it again. If you ever want to do it again.”

“Illumi,” a light chuckle escaped Hisoka’s lips as he scanned Illumi’s anxious visage, “I hope you really don’t think you’re going to be rid of me so easily. If you want to smother yourself in blankets when you come visit, by all means, they’re all yours, baby.”

The tension in his hands and jaw faded as Illumi turned to study the side of Hisoka’s face. It was strange how warm he felt. Hisoka's ready acceptance of his admittedly odd behavior made something in his insides seize up as he felt himself becoming overwhelmed by the emotions only Hisoka could rouse from him. As strange as the feeling was, he didn’t want it to fade away like he had in the past.

Illumi slid closer to Hisoka until their shoulders bumped and stretched up to kiss the side of his face. He pulled back just enough to see the subtle pink glow rising to the surface of his skin.

“Thank you. That’s very gratuitous and considerate of you.”

He watched Hisoka reach up to scratch behind his head as he fully left his personal space. 

“It’s really not a problem. I’m sure I’ll have some quirks you’ll find a bit different too. It just comes with being human I suppose.”

“Most of your behavior is strange, so I don’t think you can truly shock me.”

“Oh?” Hisoka’s calm features became bathed in a playful defiance, his grin sweeping wide like the Cheshire cat’s. “I hope you know I am taking that as a challenge.”

Illumi’s brow arched before he shrugged.

“Do as you will. However,” Illumi turned and propelled himself forward to stand, “I really do have to leave so whatever you are planning will have to wait.”

Hisoka frowned and groaned as he watched Illumi begin to warm himself up in preparation of the day. He had seen him do the same cycle of stretches many times before after they woke up nearby each other on shared missions. Every time, no matter how much Hisoka begged, he could not be persuaded to stop once he started.

“Ah, I suppose I can’t convince you to let me make you breakfast then?”

“Sorry,” The look on Illumi’s face was neutral as he brought his arm across his chest to stretch out his shoulder, “I’ve already stayed longer than anticipated. I appreciate the offer, but I really have to be on my way.”

“I knew you’d say that. Oh well, you can’t blame me for trying. Hmmm, guess I’ll just order room service. But I’ll be so lonely eating it by myself.”

Hisoka whined quietly before standing up to properly stretch his back. He watched Illumi’s final stretch and waited in anticipation for his next move. Normally, when he was ready to get going, Illumi would immediately make a beeline for the door, say a quick goodbye and disappear but Hisoka hoped he’d give him a little more considering their current status.

“Hisoka?”

“Hmmm?”

Illumi turned to face him with an oddly open look of anxiety that nearly knocked him back a step. 

“This relationship doesn’t exist only in the presence of each other. I don’t fully understand my feelings for you but I do know that you belong to me now.”

Illumi’s head was cocked to one side and his eyes squinted as he stood stock still in front of Hisoka. He had made a statement but his posture and tone made it seem more like a question.

Hisoka felt a chill brush down his back before he smiled and tentatively approached him. He grabbed Illumi’s left hand and brought it up to his face. His lips pressed firmly to the back of his hand before he brushed them across his knuckles. All of the playful energy from the earlier parts of the morning vanished as his gold eyes locked onto Illumi’s.

“I may act like an idiot sometimes but I’m not truly so stupid that I’d do something to hurt what we just established. Rest assured that I am yours, you are mine and that’s all there is for me now.”

“Okay.”

Hisoka lowered Illumi’s hand and watched him slowly accept his promise. 

“Then I will see you when my assignment is over.”

A rush of warmth flooded Hisoka as he watched Illumi’s face relax and blossom into the closest thing to a genuine smile he had seen him make. Illumi didn’t give him time to bask in it. He turned his back to him and took long, even strides to the exit. Illumi spared Hisoka one last glance before he and his aura disappeared behind the door.

Hisoka never thought of himself as someone who was attached to their phone but as the days turned to weeks he could feel the rectangular backlight from his screen boring a permanent pattern into his retinas. The first couple of days without contact were fine but after a week of nothing a nagging feeling crawled beneath his skin and wouldn’t go away.

Usually he could keep himself busy, between hunting down Chrollo, the Ryodan and wiping the floor with anyone brazen enough to challenge him on the 200th floor, but lately he couldn’t put his phone down. He’d spend his mornings curled in bed with it lying on the pillow next to him. Instead of squashing the hopes and dreams of Heaven’s Arena next young upstart down the hall he instead found himself in his room, phone unlocked at his side as he built and destroyed countless card towers. His midnight prowls in the city’s underground for any hint of information on Chrollo's whereabouts were reduced to simple midnight strolls where his main goal was to see if he just had horrible reception in his room.

At one point, he had almost broken down and called Illumi but he knew it was useless. If Illumi wanted to be in contact with him he would call first. It was that simple for him. 

Hisoka was almost at his wits end when his phone pinged for the first time in three weeks. A soft flurry of cards scattered across the floor as he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden sound in the otherwise silent room. He took in a deep breath and looked at the screen to see a tiny image of an irritated Illumi glaring at him with the word “Baby~” flanked by hearts and needle emojis on either side written under it.

The sigh he released was louder than expected in his relief. He had faith in Illumi’s abilities but it didn’t stop him from beginning to worry when he hadn’t heard from him for a week. 

The finger he had hovered over the message trembled softly as he mentally rolled around in his excitement. A big part of him wanted to wait to open it to build up his anticipation but an even bigger part of him demanded to hear from his boyfriend. With that bigger desire devouring his hesitation, Hisoka tapped the screen.

The message was very similar to his usual ones: short and to the point.

_//Hello Hisoka,_

_My assignment is complete and I will be arriving by air in the next 5 hours. I will meet you at your apartment upon arrival._

_I. Zoldyck//_

Hisoka chuckled softly as he allowed his anxiety to deflate. Illumi was alive and well and, even better, he was already on the way to see him. He tried to type a response that wasn’t obnoxious, but he couldn’t help the flurry of heart emojis and kissy faces he sprinkled throughout the wall of text he sent back.

Naturally, Illumi left him on read, but Hisoka wasn’t fazed. He grinned and snickered to himself as he held the phone in both hands and scrolled back up to re-read the text several times over. 

After wasting another ten minutes giggling at the screen Hisoka finally decided to put down his phone and prepare for Illumi’s arrival. He started by cleaning up his cards and straightening up the sheets and pillows. The rest of his room stayed in an orderly fashion on a daily basis but he still took time out to vacuum the floors and dust. 

______Once he was satisfied he rushed to the restroom and gave himself a once over. Hisoka knew that to the average person he still was attractive but he also knew that he had been letting himself go. It started with no foundation one day and the next he was walking around with a naked face. His nails weren’t shaped to his liking and the usual pop of color or clear coat was absent from both his hands and feet. He also had stopped taking his weekly trips to the spa, so his skin lacked it’s usual natural luster._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka tutted softly at his sad state and shook his head at his reflection._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We are going to the spa to fix all of this, right here and now.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______When Hisoka arrived home, he felt like a new person. His heels clicked happily against the wood floors of his flat as he entered with an armful of groceries. The soft waves of his hair were down from his usual updo and a few loose strands curled along the perimeter of his face. His nails were painted in an alternating pattern of pink and black and his lips shined with a healthy red glow._ _ _ _ _ _

______Once everything was put away he placed the little box of assorted chocolates he had purchased in the large gift bag on the table. Not even a moment later, there was a soft knock at the door. Hisoka didn’t try to stop himself from launching himself at the door._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was almost certain that he was going to rip the door off the hinges but he didn’t care. In front of him was Illumi with his large dark eyes looking up at him, even more so now with Hisoka’s heels on. He didn’t have any luggage with him but he looked tired. Despite his tired appearance Illumi looked calm._ _ _ _ _ _

______The two stood in the doorway staring at each other, neither sure what was an acceptable way to greet the other._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you going to make me stand out here the whole visit?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka chuckled into the back of his hand as he slid out of the way._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, hello to you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi slipped past him and stood in the middle of the room. Once Hisoka had locked the doors he scurried over to the table and gestured dramatically towards the large glittering purple gift sack on the table. It was tied off with a large ribbon and Illumi could clearly make out his name in bold print on the tag._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So I know you just got back and you probably have a million things to tell me about your mission but I got you something!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi tilted his head and his brow furrowed as he examined the bag. He walked closer but stopped in front of Hisoka instead of continuing to acknowledge the bag._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t require anything material at the moment.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“A gift isn’t a required thing, baby.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi huffed but didn’t continue to argue. Instead, he reached to try to pull the bag closer to the edge. He glared up at the smirking Hisoka when the sack put up more resistance than expected._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I swear, there’s no Bungee Gum involved. It’s just heavy.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______With that confirmation Illumi pulled the gift bag to the edge and undid the bow before opening it. Inside was a flat box and two different colored folded bundles of fabric. One was a similar red to Hisoka’s hair while the other was a deep purple. When he reached in to touch it he marveled and the softness of the material._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Go on. Pull one out.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi continued to stare into the bag a moment before he placed the box of chocolates on the table and lifted up part of the heavy purple material._ _ _ _ _ _

______Upon further inspection he realized that it wasn’t just raw material. His eyes ran along the tight stitches of the seams and his curiosity escalated the further he pulled it out._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s a weighted blanket.” Illumi’s eyes blinked once as he turned to regard Hisoka but he quickly turned his attention back to the blanket. His fingers gently rubbed the material as he stared at it. “Well, they both are actually.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi fully removed the weighted blanket from the sack, draped it over one arm and held it close to his chest. He turned to face Hisoka and his eyes squinted softly in his confusion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What is the purpose of it being so heavy?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You really don’t get it?” Hisoka giggled before placing a hand on the fluffy polyester covering Illumi’s arm. “It’s to help you sleep of course. You said it was comforting to be under all of those blankets, right? Well this way you reap all the benefits of being smothered without all the sweating.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi’s eyes fully opened as understanding played clearly across his face. Hisoka continued to make amused sounds as he watched Illumi run his fingers through the fluff of the blanket._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you like them?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi nodded. He hadn’t had a chance to fully appreciate the red blanket but if it was identical to this one he knew that he would like it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Aaah, I’m so glad. But I do have one condition.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka raised a finger and wagged it gently as Illumi’s eyes and brows rose to meet his cheeky grin._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The purple one stays here but you can take the red one home. I’m a bit selfish you see,” His finger stopped wagging to press its manicured nail to his chin, “I picked the purple one because it reminds me of you and I was hoping the red would remind you of me when we’re apart. You’re always so busy, so I know you aren’t home often, but I hope it brings you some comfort when you are.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi’s gaze was almost blank as he absorbed Hisoka’s words but he couldn’t help the micro reactions from flitting across his features: the way his nose twitched, the soft bob of his throat as he swallowed, the soft tension in his jaw. He wanted to move but he didn’t trust his limbs to work properly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, and I hope you don’t mind, but I tested out the red one already so it should still smell like me. I mean, if you don’t want it to smell like me you could always wash it. Or I could...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hisoka.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hmmm?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi’s face flushed a soft pink and his brows pinched together as he steadily held Hisoka’s gaze. His fingers dug into the soft material as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thank you.” Illumi’s quiet voice trembled with something warm and genuine, something he wasn’t familiar with. “If it’s okay, I’d like to try out this one now.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The hand on Illumi’s blanket covered arm squeezed down around his wrist as Hisoka pulled him gently towards the bed. Without letting go, Hisoka kicked off his heels, climbed up onto the edge and pulled Illumi closer until he finally let go and moved to sit cross legged in the middle of the bed. His hand patted the space in front of him and Illumi’s confusion openly manifested on his face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I assumed we were going to go to sleep. Isn’t that the point of this blanket?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka laughed softly and shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You really do pay attention to what I say, huh? Well, yes, that is its primary function but we can use it as a regular blanket as well.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi looked down at the small burden in his arms and then back up to Hisoka. He understood the concept of using a blanket outside of the function of sleep, but he still couldn’t figure out what Hisoka was trying to get him to do._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re overthinking this. Just come sit with me, baby.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______With the blanket in tow, Illumi nodded, slid out of his own shoes and climbed up onto the bed. He crawled forward with one hand and paused in front of Hisoka, unsure of how to proceed. As if he could read his mind, Hisoka smirked and placed his hand in the open space between his legs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Right here, Illu. Don’t worry. I won’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Just like before, if you don’t like it we’ll stop.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi’s eyes shifted away shyly as he clenched the blanket closer to his chest. When they came back to Hisoka’s he observed the slightly nervous look on his face: the way he was biting his lower lip and half smile he tried to keep on his face. Illumi huffed out a heavy sigh and crawled forward into Hisoka’s space._ _ _ _ _ _

______A pleased, yet relieved sigh escaped Hisoka when Illumi finally turned around and settled into the loose embrace of his thighs. He could feel the tension building up in Illumi’s body when he leaned forward to bump his chest against Illumi’s back._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey,” Hisoka's voice was deeper than usual, his tone a little more guarded as he carefully moved his arms to flank Illumi’s, “Let me see the blanket for a second.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka’s hands grasped the blanket gingerly and Illumi quickly relinquished his shaky hold. He pulled the soft material back between them and Illumi jumped when he felt the heavy material land on his head. The rest of it settled on his shoulders and weighed down on his back._ _ _ _ _ _

______To his surprise, Illumi almost immediately felt more at ease. His trembling diminished and the tight feeling at the base of his neck receded even more when Hisoka wrapped his arms and the rest of the blanket around him. Illumi relaxed back into his chest and hummed contentedly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi could feel Hisoka’s soft moan vibrating through his back and shoulder as he hooked his chin over Illumi’s left shoulder. A part of him wanted to look to see what kind of face Hisoka was making but he was too distracted by the sensation of being held. He had assumed he wouldn’t like the feeling but he could feel himself melting against his partner the longer and tighter he held him._ _ _ _ _ _

______The sensation of warm breath against his neck pulled him out of his trance, a nervous jolt rushing through him when he felt Hisoka’s nose and lips press to his neck._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know we’ve gone much longer without seeing each other, and this may seem silly to you, but I really did miss you, baby. I missed your pretty face and your annoyed responses to my stupid requests.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______For a moment, Illumi couldn’t reply; the only answer he could muster was a shaky sigh. He shuddered in Hisoka’s grasp as the strange combination of security and nerves swirled within him. His sigh let him know his voice wasn't going to come out the way he desired but he couldn’t hold his response any longer._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ah. I-I was unsure of what you were feeling. I was concerned that something was wrong when I did not hear from you. In the future, if you want or require my attention just ask for it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi felt Hisoka’s short sound of shock transition into rumbling quiet laughter. Hisoka’s nose pressed to the nape of his neck and Illumi felt him smile, all soft lips and the solid pressure of teeth ghosting over his skin._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh? I could have sworn you said I wasn’t supposed to contact you when I knew you were busy. You even threatened me after that one time, remember?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ve changed my mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka laughed loud against Illumi’s neck and the force of it shook them both. When he stilled, Hisoka dragged his lips up to rest against the base of his ear._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mhmm, I'll definitely keep that in mind. I hope you don’t regret it.” Hisoka paused for a long while before pulling his face back to face Illumi. “Illu?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hmmm?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi turned his head when Hisoka went quiet again. Hisoka’s long lashes were heavy with mascara and affection; an emotion Illumi had seen him wear playfully before but now the full depth of it swallowed him whole._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I really do think I love you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The soft pink of Hisoka’s cheeks spread to Illumi’s as he stared back at him from under the blanket. He swallowed and fidgeted slightly in Hisokas embrace._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You don’t have to say it back, so relax. We have different opinions about how to define love, feelings and relationships and that’s okay. I just wanted to say it because it makes sense to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It had never occurred to Illumi that it was okay that there wasn’t only one, correct way to define what they felt. Illumi hummed and considered that maybe, in a very Hisoka way, the man surrounding him did love him. At the same time, Illumi knew he would continue to simply appreciate Hisoka’s raw strength, his open affection and his company as his partner until he could clearly define what he felt with confidence. He blinked once and nodded._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hisoka grinned and planted a kiss on Illumi’s cheek and Illumi leaned into the brief contact. The legs on either side of him tightened their hold on him as Hisoka batted his eyelashes in an exaggerated way._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Splendid. Well, now that that’s been said I’m going to start calling you love too, so I hope you’re prepared for that.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi turned his head forward, closed his eyes and shrugged. Even if he had protested the nickname Hisoka would have still used it until it became something he regularly answered to. He grunted softly and Hisoka giggled quietly to himself as he saw Illumi give in to his whim._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Now, love, tell me everything about your assignment. You really did take your time finishing it, so I’m sure you have some interesting stories to tell me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Illumi hummed and shifted comfortably in Hisoka’s hold until he was content. He rattled off the events of the past three weeks and watched from his peripheral as Hisoka sleepily held onto his words. By the time he was almost done explaining, Hisoka had already started nodding off. Instead of waking him, Illumi continued to recount the events of his journey until his partner was completely silent._ _ _ _ _ _

______Only when he felt the warm, gentle rise and fall of Hisoka’s breath against his neck and back did Illumi stop. His hands came up to grab ahold of the arms Hisoka had draped around him. The rational move would have been to move out of his grasp and put them both to bed properly but against his own logic he remained rooted to the spot; both body and mind content as he drifted to sleep to the peaceful sound of Hisoka dreaming._ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for stopping in to give this a read! For updates on future fic WIPs and works that I will not be publishing feel free to follow my new writing account @DearHisoka on Twitter!


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